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Old 11-05-2010, 02:53 AM   #1
WyattEarp
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Ok so....
Ventolin said this wasn't necessary, I think it's overdue. This is my own doing, no one put me up to it, I feel this is warranted. It's a long read but bear with me.

Just want to apologize for being an ass to people on here, and to anyone I offended, I sincerely apologize for the ricer comments, talking shit, and anything else I've said or done. I've made some insensitive asshole comments that were pretty uncalled for (the flood stuff comments, comments to Eunos about his name and being an illegal), and so on.

I've had the spring/summer/fall from hell, I took it out on everyone, and I've pulled my head out of my ass. And yes it was all my own doing. I take full ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY for my actions.

Totaled my cobra, got arrested for a DUI, went to jail, had to bail out. Got lucky because my BAC was less than .08, so the DUI is dropped, but I'm paying for it in higher insurance for the next 3 years plus bail was $750, so I lost that, another $500 to the attorney, pretty costly accident.

The Clarksville thing is over, it was officially retired today. The arrest gets expunged from my record in May and it'll be as though it never happened, so I get a 2nd chance. Truly grateful for that. It came down to the fact the prosecutor knew she couldn't get a conviction, my attorney knew we couldn't get a full dismissal, so both sides met in the middle, which was retirement of the charges. Means I have to be good for 6 months, otherwise it can brought up against me in that time plus any new charges. Mr. Councilman is very very angry and there will be another story in the news. I'm not saying a word. Keeping my MOUTH shut and my keyboard SILENT. That was a costly email...$787 in bail, and $2500 to an attorney. Even after the 6 months is up and this is expunged, I'm continuing to keep my big mouth shut and not jumping on the wrong bandwagon again.

I lost my girlfriend (yeah the pretty one I was seeing back in March/April/May), but it wasn't because of anything I did, she had issues from a previous abusive relationship that she hadn't dealt with and she just wasn't ready for the same things I was, and I know this will be hard to believe, but I treated her how a lady should be treated and that was with respect and dignity. I truly loved this girl and cared for her, and maybe she wasn't the one for me, but she was my wakeup call for the rest of my life, because I can see what's really important now...I didn't get it when she left, but I'll be damned if I didn't get it the night I totaled my car. It's not been easy without her, miss the hell out of her, but there's more fish in the sea, and someday I'll find the right one.

The things in life that are important are not mustangs, or who's faster, or who's got more money, or showing off or possessions, who's got a bigger house, or more accomplishments it's about how you treat people and how people remember you, it's spending time with the ones you love (family, friends, significant other/gf/wife) and enjoying the short time we have here on this Earth.

Right now, I'm not remembered or regarded as a quality fellow, and I'm trying my damnedest to change that. A long reflection of this past year has not been pretty. I've lost some friends because of the DUI/Clarksville stuff, shamed my family and embarrassed them, disappointed a lot of my friends, and I spent more money in legal fees on stupid bullshit that could have gone to a nice vacation or into my cobra before I wrecked it, or into savings or a down payment on a house. I really took life for granted, I took people for granted, I took the things I had for granted, and the friendships and relationships I had for granted.

I can honestly say I'm still sarcastic and opinionated bot not as bad as I used to be, but since July 15th when I wrecked the cobra, I've made great strides to get my shit together and get it together fast.

I've addressed just about every area of my life that has needed to be addressed. I'm now going to church almost every Sunday, I attend service and I go to the Bible Study afterwards, I also attend the college lifegroup on Wednesday night if I don't have too much homework/studying. Doesn't mean I'm perfect or trying to be, I'm just really trying to live a better life and less time being mad/angry all the time and enjoy my life for once.

Being with Savannah, (my-ex) made me realize things I never thought about, and she made want things I've never wanted before in my life...love, a wife, children, and family of my own. She made me a better man, I stopped to think about things when she was around, I stopped to think about what I was gonna say and how I was gonna say it, she just had a profound effect on me that I can't say anyone has ever had on me before. We also had an incredible mental/emotional connection that I've never experienced before, and we had chemistry too...outta this world chemistry. Even though she's gone and moved on with her life, I need to keep acting as though she were still around.

I've sought out counseling, I now go 6 times a month (every monday) plus every other Wednesday. Remarkably, I've done it all without medicine/pills and I'm addressing all of my issues. I don't think I've ever been more self-aware of myself as a person than I have been these last few months.

I quit smoking back in August when I got sick with bronchitis. When I totaled the cobra, I got $28,000 for it. ($18,225 from insurance, $8,000 from selling the car, and $1800 in seats, and some other parts). Paid off almost all of my debts (with exception of my credit card), bought me a truck with cash, and started taking care of my obligations.

I've also taken the time to take care of other priorities I've been neglecting for some time (clothes, getting my eyes checked and getting some new contact lenses, making sure my physical health is good).

I'm not posting this because any of you care, i'm posting it because I'm making myself accountable for me and for the way I've behaved and that I am doing something to change it.

No pity party here, I got myself into this mess and I'm digging myself out slowly but surely. Should have never got into all this in the first place and then I wouldn't be digging myself out, but hindsight is always 20/20 and it's always easier to look back and say "i shoulda done this or shouldn't have done that". I can't cry over spilled milk anymore, but I'm gonna make sure from here on out, I'm acting like a 30 year old, responsible mature man, and not like Vance (haha j/k Vance...you're 20? 21? you still get a pass for a few more years, have fun while you can) and making the best of life and taking advantage of the good opportunities that somehow miraculously keep coming my way. I should in all honesty consider myself the world's luckiest dumbshit right now. Escaped felony charges, got out of a DUI, i'm lucky I'm not dead from that accident, and been given another chance. I turned 30 in July. My first 30 years are HISTORY. I'm going to forget the bad moments, and cherish the good moments, and make the best of my next 30 years (just like the Tim McGraw song).

Right now, I'm sitting pretty damn good. Money in the bank, got a few vacations coming up and some things I've been wanting to do. I've got some new clothes and my truck is running good, bills are paid, less than $1,000 in debt, I don't have to live month to month anymore, got food in the fridge, even moved to a new place and I have two female roommates who are pretty cool. My grades are up in school, I have a date Friday night (yes it's a female, she's 25 with a college degree in Business Management). no i ain't posting her picture, but she don't look like McCauley Culkin). But for the first time ever, I'm not taking any of it for granted and I'd like to keep it this way. I'm just slowing down and learning to enjoy life one day at a time.

Most importantly, I'm tired of learning shit the hard way and having everyone and their brother hate me. I've done some stupid shit in my lifetime, and now it's just time for me to grow the fuck up. Doesn't mean I can't have fun, but the stupid, dumb, ignorant, retarded shit has to stop and it is gonna stop.

that's all I got. Don't take my word for it, just let me prove it with my actions from here on out. I'm not gonna try to be perfect, but I am trying to be drastically improved.

and there is no more "Andrew". it's just Drew now, part of the change and I like it.

Last edited by WyattEarp; 11-05-2010 at 02:58 AM..
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:32 AM   #2
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Wow. I can honestly say I don't want to flame one of your posts. Good for you man. Best wishes on your new adventures
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Old 11-05-2010, 08:55 AM   #3
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Good luck man! Hopefully you learned a few lessons and will make changes accordingly as you said not in words, but in action...
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Old 11-05-2010, 09:00 AM   #4
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You seem to have learned your lesson...welcome back.

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Old 11-05-2010, 09:14 AM   #5
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Glad to see you're taking responsibilities for your actions. Hope everything works out for you. That's one positive step. Just keep on climbing up
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Old 11-05-2010, 09:36 AM   #6
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thank you guys I appreciate the comments.
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Old 11-05-2010, 09:38 AM   #7
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I'll believe it when I see it. Good luck.
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Old 11-05-2010, 09:58 AM   #8
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Way to go Vance!! Oh wait his was last week. Ok well good call broski I don't know
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:09 AM   #9
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I'll believe it when I see it.
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:55 AM   #10
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Welcome back and wish you the best in over coming your old ways and being a new better person.
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Old 11-05-2010, 11:36 AM   #11
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Good try, Drew. Rootin' for you. Keep it up.
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Old 11-05-2010, 11:39 AM   #12
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dang man i dont even know you but your words just reached out made me want to better some things about my life. keep your head up man, church is a good thing
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Old 11-05-2010, 12:00 PM   #13
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Always remember the commitment you have spoken today on this forum, for if you don't follow these positive reflections and the strive for self improvement then you will not change. Many people don't get a second chance or are not able to get out that hole they dug themselves into. Keep at it, work at it, and you will begin to see the fruits of your labor.


I don't believe in luck, so I say much encouragement too you. Also you will have to show your family, your friends, your peers, tennspeed, and yourself that you can be a better man.

Everything happens for a reason.
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Old 11-05-2010, 12:27 PM   #14
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dang man i dont even know you but your words just reached out made me want to better some things about my life. keep your head up man, church is a good thing
I can thank a special woman who was brought in to my life to make me realize this, and sometimes that's what it takes...to lose everything that's important to you for you get the big picture.

I can also thank the Good Lord above for getting my attention. I had strayed far off the beaten path, but back on the right road now, just need to stay there.

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Always remember the commitment you have spoken today on this forum, for if you don't follow these positive reflections and the strive for self improvement then you will not change. Many people don't get a second chance or are not able to get out that hole they dug themselves into. Keep at it, work at it, and you will begin to see the fruits of your labor.


I don't believe in luck, so I say much encouragement too you. Also you will have to show your family, your friends, your peers, tennspeed, and yourself that you can be a better man.

Everything happens for a reason.
I used to believe in luck, but after seeing all mine, I now know life is what you make it...it's not about luck or no lucky, it's about taking advantage of the good opportunities and passing on the bad ones.

if I ever slip or start to get off the beaten path I hope you guys just link this thread and advise me to go re-read it and re-compose myself. this will help keep me accountable.

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Good try, Drew. Rootin' for you. Keep it up.
thanks Moody!
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Old 11-05-2010, 12:51 PM   #15
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still still feel the urge to call you a fagot j/k good luck
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Old 11-05-2010, 01:24 PM   #16
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Way to go Vance!! Oh wait his was last week. Ok well good call broski I don't know

I know right... I guess its the new cool thing to do..


Anyways good for you.
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Old 11-05-2010, 02:36 PM   #17
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welcome back, Drew.

I had to seek counselling myself 3.5 years ago for a completely different reason, but as cliche as it sounds, it turned me right around.

it's amazing some of the stuff you learn there; how to accept, forgive, let go, etc.

I wish you the best of luck, and thanks for checking back with us.

it takes a man to write what you just wrote, don't let us down
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:44 PM   #18
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http://www.removingemotionalpain.com/

that book helps you understand life and what the thought process really revolves around.

it was written by a guy that had an extremely high and low life and major turning points in it. alcatraz being a primary turning point.

it was revised by my old youth minister and father figure in my life. it is an excellent read, along with one of the few books i would read period.

once you understand the thought process and how it works, you understand how ton overcome the problems associated with it.

good luck man. keep trying and you'll make it there.
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Old 11-05-2010, 09:28 PM   #19
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Glad to see you back!
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:37 PM   #20
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Long post....I kept hoping to see "I'm just kidding, screw you guys!!!"




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