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Last Son of Krypton
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3,455 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I read this on another forum and found it pretty funny i hope you guys share in the laughs

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fuckers.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan OH YEAH! when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they high five each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to suck it.

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

^^^That's the best one of them all
 

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Its funny when one of those things does not work out how you thought it would based off porn and then afterwards you have a cold feeling in your stomach and the next 3 days you have night sweats.....
 

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Vin-Auto Rotary
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10,163 Posts
I disagree with #17...I had more pussy than over half of the kids on here.....woulda filmed it but the Beta didn't make camcorders.
 

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BURN UNIT.......lol
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1,418 Posts
i've learned about DVDA. pm me if you dont know what that is
 

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hahaha shits hilarious i love beatin it up then thinkin bout a porn ive seen it in makes me giggle
 
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